Old Stories, New Acronyms

2 Samuel 16:5, 19:18-23, 1 Kings 2:1-2, 8-9, 36-46, Shimei (10/14/21)

Did you know that there's a difference between desertion and being AWOL, Absent Without Official Leave? Desertion means you don't intend to come back; AWOL means you intend to come back, just not right this minute. You can go to the brig for being AWOL, but you can be executed for desertion. I learn all sorts of interesting stuff while preparing these study tips.

One of the lesser known men of the Bible is Shimei. On his death bed, David reminded Solomon that Shimei wasn't a true fan, and Solomon told Shimei to stay in the city or else, presumably so he could keep an eye on him. Shimei left anyway, but he did come back to Jerusalem, showing that he was AWOL, not a deserter. Solomon had him executed anyway under the "or else" clause. There's more to Solomon than just wisdom.

Jonah 1:1-17, 3:1-3 (10/15/21)

Jonah is probably our most famous example of being AWOL. But what do you think? Was Jonah AWOL or was he a deserter? On the one hand, he doesn't seem to have intended to return. On the other hand, he knows good and well that God made heaven and earth and will save the pagan sailors if he isn't on board, so he must know that he's still in the presence of God. I guess if you're AWOL from the Army, you're still in the Army, so we'll give him the benefit of the doubt, just as God did – three days in the brig, I mean, great fish, and back on duty.

Exodus 4:1-17, 7:1-2, Aaron (10/18/21)

In most big projects, there is one person who acts as a doorway between the customer or customers and the staff doing the actual work. This person is the Point of Contact or POC. The POC keeps the customer from being frustrated by having to call 15 people to get an answer and keeps the staff from being interrupted by questions they can't answer. I've had this job, and my sympathies are totally with Moses.

God chose Moses to be the POC between God and the children of Israel. Moses raises several objections, but they all amount to, "Seriously? You want ME to be the POC between YOU and THEM?," and God overrules them all. God is determined not to deal directly with the children of Israel, and the Israelites sure don't want to deal directly with God, so Moses is stuck with being the POC.

Exodus 4:27-31, 7:7-20, Aaron (10/19/21)

I've mentioned before that a long time ago one of my boys sang the part of Moses in a children's musical. It was very realistic, because God and Moses talked to each other, and Aaron and the people talked to each other, but Moses and God didn't talk directly to the people. Just as Moses was the POC between God and everybody else, Aaron was the POC between Moses and other people, especially Pharaoh.

John 1:35-46, 12:20-26, Andrew and Phillip (10/20/21)

The POC is either (a) the person whom you ask to find the one you really need to talk to or (b) the person who finds you because someone needs to talk to you. The POC is a go-between. After Andrew and his companion (possibly John the disciple) visit with Jesus, Andrew immediately appoints himself as the POC between his brother Simon and Jesus.

When Phillip follows Jesus, he becomes the POC between Jesus and Nathaniel. The Greeks who wanted to see Jesus at Passover used Phillip as their POC, and Phillip enlisted Andrew to support the request. Are you the POC for someone Jesus needs to talk to?

Hebrews 4:14 – 5:14, Jesus is our POC with God the Father (10/21/21)

Because the writer of Hebrews is addressing an audience made up primarily of Jewish Christians, he or she spends a lot of time quoting scripture, our Old Testament, and showing how it points to Jesus as Messiah and Savior. In particular, the writer compares Jesus to the High Priest, who was the POC between God and the people of Israel. Jesus, as the ultimate and eternal High Priest, is now the POC for all Christians, both Jewish and Gentile.

John 14:1-20, Jesus is our POC with God the Father (10/22/21)

Jesus is the POC between his followers and God the Father.

Earlier in his earthly ministry, Jesus warned his disciples against false prophets, saying, "You will recognize them by their fruits" (Matthew 7:15-20). Here in vs. 11, he says the same thing about himself: "If you don't believe I'm one with the Father because of what I say, you can look at what I do and believe because of that!"

1 Samuel 25:21-35 (10/25/21)

My interns and I used to listen to CDs while we worked. Once in a while they'd bring one in and play it, and at one of the songs, their eyes would narrow, and they'd quickly skip to the next song. I could tell that they didn't consider the skipped song suitable for my chaste and boss-like ears. In today's world, it was Not Safe For Work.

Well, apparently a lot of translators occasionally narrow their eyes and decide that the Greek or Hebrew is NSFW. Take a look at vss. 22 and 34. David is angry because Abigail's husband, Nabal, has been miserly and insulting to David's men after they protected his flocks and shepherds all year long. David's in the mood to do a little righteous smiting. In fact, he intends to kill every man and boy in Nabal's household.

Neither the Hebrew nor Greek says "male," however, even though most modern translations say man, boy, male, mother's son, etc. The Hebrew and Greek say "one who pisses against the wall," as does the King James. A very few modern translations say "urinates against the wall." If we think parts of the Bible are NSFW, that says more about us that it says about the Bible.

Ezekiel 23:1-21 (10/26/21)

Today's scripture is beyond NSFW – Not Safe For Work – and well into X-rated.

The prophets were by turns sorrowful, critical, angry, satirical, scathing, and revolted on the subjects of apostasy, idolatry, and foreign alliances, jointly known as "whoring." Even by the standards of the prophets, however, Ezekiel uses some eye-popping language in this passage. This is a family-friendly Bible study, so I'm not going to tell you what vss. 19-20 mean. (For one thing, it might not make it past your spam filter.) However, if you read them carefully and put the worst possible interpretation that you can think of on them, you'll know exactly what Ezekiel thought of idolatry and foreign alliances.

Ruth 1:1-18 (10/27/21)

There's a Hebrew idiom, "The LORD do so to me and more also if...." The original speaker would have invoked a curse on himself in the event that something or other happened or didn't happen. Anyone who repeated the curse orally or in writing, however, would be doing something that literally was Not Safe For Work. This idiom is almost identical to our own written idiom, "I'll be d—d if...." Don't accidentally bring a curse down on yourself!

1 Samuel 20:1-16 (10/28/21)

The story we call "David and Jonathan" is actually the story of Jonathan and David. Jonathan was a prince; David, a shepherd. Jonathan was rich; David, poor. So we shouldn't be surprised to learn that Jonathan has brought David into a covenant with himself (vs. 86): it was not a covenant between equals. Now, in vs. 16, Jonathan makes a covenant with the House of David, i.e., with David's descendants. Jonathan has seen the writing on the wall and realizes that their positions will be reversed.

Meantime, vs. 13, David is pretty nervous about Saul, and to show that he understands that, Jonathan invokes a curse upon himself if he doesn't do right by David. Curses are NSFW and shouldn't be taken lightly.

2 Samuel 3:6-21 (10/29/21)

Bible study ain't for sissies. This passage has political in-fighting (vss. 7-8), changing political loyalties (vss. 9-12), full frontal nudity (vs. 14), a love triangle (vss. 14-16), and a self-invoked curse that's too dangerous to write down (vs. 9). All in all, NSFW.

John 21:1-25, P.S.: Postscript (11/01/21)

Probably one of the most common acronyms is P.S., or "postscript," which means "written later." We see quite a few of these in the Bible, such as the short and long endings of Mark, Galatians 6:11-18, and, some scholars believe, the happy ending in Job 42:10-17. It's pretty clear that John intended for his Gospel to end with John 20:30-31, "Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book; but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name." He might as well have put "The End."

But then apparently somebody said, "Teacher John! You left out the story of going fishing after Jesus rose again! Didn't he say you'd never die?" John 21 is an extended p.s. after the first ending to clarify what really happened.

2 Samuel 15:1-6; Luke 7:36-47; Romans 16:16; 1 Thessalonians 5:26, PDA: Public Display of Affection (11/02/21)

Can you imagine everyone at church greeting each other with a PDA, a Public Display of Affection? From everything I've read, a holy kiss is still an actual kiss on the lips. Pre-COVID, St. John's members passed the peace by shaking hands, or maybe by hugging relatives or close friends, but not usually by kissing. I suspect that if the pastor greeted everyone with a holy kiss, there would be serious chats with the SPRC and the Bishop. Isn't it sad when a holy act becomes entirely secular? Maybe we should think about this, now that All Saint's Day has become the day after Halloween, not to mention the day that Christmas decorations go up.

1 Chronicles 5:1-3; 2 Chronicles 10:1-16, FYI: For Your Information (11/03/21)

Did you ever get a sticky note or email that started out FYI, For Your Information? Usually that means you don't have to do anything, but the person who gave it to you thought you might like to know. FYIs are common in the Bible, but since we don't have the entire 66 books memorized (well, I don't, anyway), we look at our cross-references, right?

Sometimes we get a parenthetical FYI as a reminder. The Chronicler is summarizing the history of Israel, so naturally he starts with the genealogy of the 12 tribes. Reuben, the firstborn, should have been preeminent but isn't, so the Chronicler puts in a little FYI in 1 Chronicles 5:1-2 for those in the reading audience who didn't know that. There's also a reminder, just FYI, in 2 Chronicles 10:2 for those who didn't know that Jeroboam son of Nebat had fled to Egypt in the time of Solomon. You could follow the story without those tidbits, but the Chronicler thinks they are useful information, so he just added them FYI.

John 1:35-42; 9:1-7, FYI: For Your Information (11/04/21)

Whenever John uses an Aramaic word, he translates it FYI. Fellow-reader Larry L. asks, "Do the FYIs point to other Bible verses that state that?" Usually they do. For example, 1 Chronicles 5:1-2 is pointing at Genesis 35:22 and Genesis 49:3-4. 2 Chronicles 10:2 points at 1 Kings 11:40. On the other hand, sometimes they point to something outside the Bible, as when 1 Kings 11:41 refers us to the Book of the Acts of Solomon. Sometime they point to something that no-one can figure out, as when Jude 1:9 talks about the archangel Michael and the devil. If you have a Bible with cross-references and study notes, many of the former will have a cross-reference, and a few of the latter will have a note. We have no copy of the Acts of Solomon, and Jude's source is unknown. Excellent question.

Mark 7:1-23, FYI: For Your Information (11/05/21)

This little passage has three FYIs: in vss. 3-4, 11, and 19b. Mark wrote the earliest Gospel, so I guess we ought to say that he invented that literary form. Who was he writing for? The FYIs in this passage appear to be explaining Jewish practices, presumably for the benefit of Gentile seekers or converts. In vss. 3-4, we see a brief explanation of how 1st-century Jews interpreted some of the laws about clean vs. unclean. In vss. 11-12 we see a tricky little maneuver for protecting your assets at the expense of your family – it's sort of like putting everything into a trust for St. John's, payable on your death; meantime, you tell your family, "I'd love to help you out, but that's God's money!" Finally, vs. 19 has a little gloss that explains the very early Church's interpretation of what Jesus had said about the first two items.

Isaiah 42:5-25, Speaking for God or as God? (11/08/21)

If you ever took a writing class, you probably learned about POV, or Point of View. POV is important for writers, because it can be jarring to be reading along in a novel, happily sharing observations with one character, and then – without warning – you're suddenly in somebody else's mind! We see shifting POVs in the Bible, particularly in the prophets, where the POV changes frequently between God, speaking as God; the prophet, speaking for God; and the prophet, speaking for himself.

In this passage from Isaiah, vs. 5 introduces God as the speaker using a standard opening, "Thus says the LORD." Vss. 6-9 are pretty clearly the LORD speaking, either right now or having told Isaiah exactly what to say. Then in vs. 10, we starting hearing Isaiah's voice. We read along for a bit, and we feel sorry for him, because he says in vs. 14 that, "I will cry out like a woman in labor; I will gasp and pant." But wait! We read vs. 15, and it turns out to be GOD who is gasping and panting like a woman in labor, unless we think Isaiah is capable of laying waste to mountains. God keeps speaking through vs. 20, and then in vss. 21-25, we're back with Isaiah.

This week's readings will be a little longer than usual, because it can be hard to see shifting points of view – or even who's speaking – if you only read a few verses. Always read at least 10 verses before and after the text you're interested in, just so you're sure you know what's going on.

Jeremiah 10:1-21, Speaking for God or as God? (11/09/21)

Jeremiah also changes the POV in his writing, with the added twist that sometimes the prophet seems to be speaking directly to God as well as for God. In vs. 1, Jeremiah is clearly speaking to Israel; in vss. 2-5, God is speaking. In vss. 6-7, Jeremiah is speaking to God. But then in vss. 8-9, I'm not sure who is speaking to whom, although I think maybe Jeremiah is complaining to God about people who worship idols. Is God speaking to Jeremiah in vs. 11? Or is Jeremiah telling the people what they should say to the foreigners about their gods? And why do several translations end the quotation there, instead of, say, after vs. 13? God is speaking in vs. 18, and vss. 19-21 sound to me like Jeremiah is talking to himself. But I could be wrong about all of this.

So the point is, if you're a little confused about who's saying what to whom when, you're in good company, because so is everybody else. It's all the prophetic message given to Jeremiah, however, and it's all saying that the living God is powerful, and idols are worthless.

Micah 2:1-13, Speaking for God or as God? (11/10/21)

When you can't sleep, do you spend your time devising wickedness? Seems to me that would be counter-productive, sleep-wise, even if you did make a profit the next day.

Speaking of profits, the shifting POV continues in the minor prophets. Micah seems to be speaking for the LORD in vss. 1-2, and God seems to be speaking in vss. 3-5 and 12-13. I'm not at all sure who is speaking in vss. 7-10. In vss. 6 and 11 Micah is speaking on his own behalf, sarcastically saying that what the people really want is a prophet who will say, "Oh, everything is fine! Eat, drink, be merry!" If that's what your pastor is telling you, maybe you should read Micah.

John 3:22-36, John the Baptist or John the Gospel Writer? (11/11/21)

We saw earlier that it can be difficult to tell whether God or his Prophet is speaking. The same confusion about Point of View, POV, is found in other books of the Bible, especially John. I've mentioned before that Greek has a beginning "quotation mark" but no ending mark. (It's actually a word, and not a punctuation mark, and sometimes the text just says, "So-and-so said....") So we know that John the writer is telling us about John the Baptist in vss. 22-25, and clearly vs. 26 quotes his disciples. John the Baptist begins to speak in vs. 27, but when does John the Baptist stop speaking and John the writer start again?

Of the translations that I checked, the English Standard Version, Williams New Testament, International Standard Version, and Good News Bible end John the Baptist's sayings with vs. 30. The World English Bible, God's Word, and Easy-to-Read Version, on the other hand, end his sayings with vs. 36. (Many translations have no quotation marks at all, or don't use them all the time.) It's all scripture, so it doesn't matter except for this: don't be too dogmatic about who said what, and don't argue.

John 5:19-47, Jesus or John? (11/12/21)

In his commentary on the Gospel of John, William Barclay quotes Clement of Alexandria (via Eusebius --it's complicated) as saying that "last of all, John,... inspired by the Holy Spirit, wrote a spiritual gospel." Barclay says, "John was not so much interested in the mere facts, as in the meaning of the facts...." Hence, we come to the changing POVs in John.

What you see over and over in John is this:

Who is doing the explaining? It usually starts out being Jesus, and then, apparently, it seamlessly shifts over to being John. John's symbol is the eagle, because the eagle can look into the sun and not be blinded. I can't, so John explains the glory of God in Jesus Christ in a way that I can understand it.

Weymouth, the English Standard Version, and many others have this entire passage spoken by Jesus. I'm not convinced. Do vss. 20-23 sound to you like Jesus talking about himself, or like John explaining vs. 19? Same with vss. 26-29 as an explanation of vs. 24-25. I'm in the minority here, but those sound to me like John, after decades in the company of the Holy Spirit, explaining to me what Jesus meant by a short, pithy, statement that otherwise would go right over my head. For what it's worth, Barclay also switches back and forth between "Jesus says" and "John says" in about the same places that I would, although nobody asked me.

1 Samuel 11:1-15, SOS: Help! Save us! (11/15/21)

It may seem odd at first blush that the Israelites of Jabesh Gilead are willing to have an Ammonite king. Remember that this is very early in the reign of Saul, the first king of Israel. The people of Jabesh were probably in "whatever" mode. Then it turns out that this Nahash guy wants to put out their eyes! That prompts them to send out an SOS. Saul gets the message and says, "That's NOT happening!" He rescues Jabesh as his first kingly act. The people of Jabesh Gilead remember this, and when Saul is killed, it is they who retrieve his body for burial (1 Samuel 31:6-13).

Psalms 80:1-19, SOS: Help! Save us! (11/16/21)

SOS! SOS! We are your people, LORD, but we're in (well-deserved) trouble. Come and save us!

Matthew 8:14-27, SOS: Help! Save us! (11/17/21)

What do you do when your boat is about to sink? Send an SOS, everybody knows that! What's a little surprising is that even after seeing Jesus work several miracles and then follow up with curing Peter's mother-in-law's fever and expelling many demons, his closest followers are amazed when they send the SOS and Jesus does calm the storm. It only gradually dawned on the Twelve that Jesus was not exactly an ordinary rabbi.

3 John 1:1-15, TTYL: Talk To You Later (11/18/21)

3 John isn't just a short book of the Bible, it's even short for a letter -- only 15 verses. Apparently, John hopes and expects to see Gaius soon, because he says that he isn't going to write everything, he'll just tell him when he gets there. In essence, John is saying, TTYL, Talk To You Later.

Romans 15:15-33, TTYL: Talk To You Later (11/19/21)

Paul is winding down his letter to the Romans, whom he has never visited, by saying that he hopes to see them and talk to them later. And this is the end of our little study on how to think of scripture when we see the little acronyms that populate our jobs, emails, and texts. TTYL!

More Old Stories, New Acronyms
DOA, FDA, OMG, TBA, D&D, LOCA
AWOL, POC, NSFW, P.S., PDA, FYI, POV, SOS, TTYL

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